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I don't understand why Comedy Central cancels some of the shows they cancel. (ie. Dog Bites Man and Stella) But what I really don't understand is the show Mind of Mencia. His schtick is tired and unfunny. That annoying grin he has on his face as he tells his horrible jokes and performs his skits kills me. Who watches this show? The same people that enjoy Dane Cook I guess. Now he is getting into commercials and soon I'm sure he'll have his own terrible movie.
How unoriginal and unfunny is this guy? Watch this clip:
I hate most commercials, but I love this one.
I hardly ever watch Saturday Night Live, but I'm glad I caught this digital short on last night's episode. Enjoy this on YouTube below or the uncensored version here.
If you have yet to check out the new Comedy Central show Dog Bites Man, I suggest you do. Tivo it, tape it, or whatever you kids are doing these days. The show has a fantastic premise and the cast is spot on. Matt Walsh, my favorite member of the now defunct comedy troupe Upright Citizens Brigade, is fantastic as the ignorant and arrogant news reporter Kevin Beekin.
I guess I should explain the premise. A fake news team from Spokane, Washington interviews real people on a variety of issues. The show is shot like a documentary and the result is pure comedic gold. (By comedic gold, I mean it will make you pee your pants.) I'm sure if the show becomes more popular it will be harder for the characters to dupe their unknowing subjects so catch it now. Wednesdays @ 10:30pm on Comedy Central.
Pittsburgh's public access station, PCTV 21, is the best. Where else could you see mimes doing interpretive dance to gospel music? Jesus would be proud. Hmm. What would Jesus mime?
The rumors of a Simpsons movie have been around for at least ten years. Well, those rumors are finally a reality. I saw the teaser trailer for The Simpsons Movie during last night's broadcast of The Simpsons. I'm not sure what to think of it. I'm sure I'll go see it in the theater, but my expectations are rather flat. Here's the teaser, if you care to view it.
I confess. Growing up I played Dungeons & Dragons. I didn't pay much attention to all the warnings from religious fanatics that the roleplaying game would take over my life. Hell, there was even a made-for-tv movie starring Tom Hanks that warned of the dangers of roleplaying games such as D&D.
The warnings of satanic rituals and drug use don't hold a candle to the following video you are about to see. THIS is what can happen to you if you play Dungeons & Dragons. Now, that is chilling stuff.
Recently, I was asked if I remembered the video/short film Fish Heads. Of course I remembered this amusing little video, who wouldn't? Well, what I didn't remember is that Bill Paxton is the main character and he also directed it. Interesting. Anyhow, here is the video (47 MB | Mpeg) for your viewing enjoyment.
So I'm watching part of the three hour afternoon newscast here in Pittsburgh, and KDKA felt that it was important to do a "news" story on Dick Van Patten's new brand of dog food. I guess they have to come up with something to fill that three hour time slot.
I'm not exactly sure how much pull Dick Van Patten has these days, but I'm fairly certain Pittsburgh isn't the only news affiliate that ran this story. The "news" segment featured the former Eight is Enough star at a table eating the same food as he was feeding his dog. It was fantastic.
Man, the Pittsburgh media is obsessed with Big Ben's knee. I guess KDKA needs to fill their three straight hours of news in the afternoon with something. Yeah that's right, KDKA has three hours of news from four to seven Monday through Friday. So you can only imagine what kind of coverage they dedicate to Roethlisberger's knee. They interviewed people on the street, a doctor, and the knee itself.
Other quarterback news has Joey Harrington taking over the reins of the Lions woeful offense. God help us Lions fans.
Note to ABC, CBS, FOX and ESPN: Please stop highlighting the bottom of the barrel in our society during your sports broadcasts. I am, of course, referring to the face painters in the crowd. If your producers would stop focusing in on the few dipshits in the crowd that take it upon themselves to apply paint to their faces, then this ridiculous practice would come to an end. It is an endless cycle passed down from generation to generation of face painters.
I didn't watch much of the World Series, but the amount I did watch was dominated by Astro fans in full face paint cheering for their team. Why? Because, it will get them on TV. Stop encouraging them and they'll eventually go away. Sports leagues have a policy of not showing people who make their way onto the field, let's include face painters into this policy and the world will be a much better place.
Photo courtesy: Palm Beach Post
Man, PCTV 21 may be my favorite channel. You never know what you are in for. You may get a raving lunatic talking about Jesus or an old angry black man complaining about just about everything.
Last night, I was waiting for The Simpsons to start and luckily I flipped to channel 21. I was then blown away some very bad karaoke. The lady above was belting out her version of Laura Branigan's Gloria. It was priceless. She even used a wind machine to blow her hair around.
The Pennsylvania government thinks it is necessary for them to advertise their
new Texas Hold 'Em scratch off game. The tax payer funded commercials aren't
as upsetting as the puppet beaver groundhog (sorry Larry) they use as the spokesperson. WTF?
The doe eyed moron known as the "Runaway Bride" may be getting her own made-for-tv movie. Time and money was wasted looking for this woman with a vacant stare, and instead of being embarrassed about her actions she's going to make a movie about her pitiful ordeal.
Here's the story in case you had decided to forget about it: She couldn't handle the pressure of marrying the town tool and decided to concoct a story of her own kidnapping. She even claimed that she was sexually assaulted. The plan was premeditated and authorities wasted their time tracking her down. She was found in New Mexico, I think, and her fiance (the tool) decides to take her back. Does this man have absolutely no other prospects in his life? Not sure who the bigger loser is in this story the "Runaway Bride" or her tool fiance.
The Parents Television Council cares about the cleanliness of broadcast television and they take it upon themselves to champion wholesome programming. I just find it odd that they highlight the "Worst TV Clip of the Week" on their web site.
Thanks to PTC, now anyone can stumble upon this site and be corrupted by clips from Sex and the City or CSI:. How can we put a stop to PTC and their filthy web site? I guess the busy body religious freaks need their "smut" too.
If
you have yet to see MTV 2's new show Wonder
Showzen, I highly recommend tuning in for some truly deranged comedy.
The original show was titled Kids Show and you can view a bootleg of
the pilot here. The show
airs on Fridays at 9:30, but it can also be seen on Tuesdays at 10 pm and Wednesdays
at 11 pm.
Muppets + Children + Animation = Funny
I meant to check this out earlier in the week, but just got around to it tonight.
Read an excerpt from a Christian Post article:
Conservative groups including Parents Television Council criticized the episode, saying that it promotes gay marriage. L. Brent Bozell III, president of PTC stated, "At a time when the public mood is overwhelmingly against gay marriage, any show that promotes gay marriage is deliberately bucking the public mood." He added, "You've got a show watched by millions of children. Do children need to have gay marriage thrust in their faces as an issue?"
Deliberately bucking the public mood!?! Whatever the public mood may be at a given moment, it is always correct...ALWAYS!
The same sex marriage episode of The Simpsons contained the following warning to parents: Parents be advised. This episode contains discussions of same sex marriage.
Discussions! Not on a television in my home. I watched it, but in protest I hummed through the entire show while my fingers were in my ears.
I can't believe there are people that actually watch the Super Bowl for the commercials. I can save you all a lot of time with a brief preview of what the ads will probably contain:
I saw a mayonnaise commercial touting a new jar. They did not focus on the product in the new jar, only the new flip top jar and how easy it was to "operate." The new jar virtually guarantees zero mess. Is the jar with the conventional screw top lid that messy? Use a freaking butter knife and you're good to go.
Don't they already have squeeze bottles of mayo anyhow? This new flip top lid is about as useful as the pump action toothpaste dispensers that were all the rage about ten or fifteen years ago.
I've had cable for the past week and here are some of my observations:
Due to the very generous Comcast Cable corporation, I have 60+ channels of crap back in my life. I'll pay $19.99/month for the next six months and gladly shut it off in May.
Hooray for mediocrity!
It
has been a few days since I've seen Jessica Simpson's face smeared across my
television screen in some way, shape, or form. Luckily, she will be weighing
in with her very own Christmas
Special on ABC. Of course, her tool husband Nick will be along for the ride.
I'm sure this special will be the equivalent of twenty Christmases wrapped into
one!
What a coincidence. Jessica has a new Christmas album in stores now. You don't think that will be mentioned on tonight's special? Here are some details that ABC highlights on their web site: Bing Crosby (Why, Bing why?) sings a magical rendition of "White Christmas"; Ashlee Simpson and Jessica "sing" a duet of "Little Drummer Boy"; Nick's group 98 Degrees reunites to sing "I'll Be Home For Christmas" (Wow, I hardly knew they broke up).
I watched some of the Yasser Arafat "ceremony" on C-SPAN today. His coffin crowd surfed across Ramallah as AK-47s blazed bullets into the sky. It was a beautiful occassion.
Yesterday, I was making a concerted effort to keep all news out of my day. I almost made it. All I had to do was watch the end of CSI: New York and I was off to bed.
It was not to be. The last five minutes was interrupted by the news that Yasser Arafat had died. Not only did they inform the viewer that he had died, they proceeded to run a retrospect on Arafat's life. The damn thing ran for at least five minutes. Not only had I missed the end of CSI: New York, more importantly, I was exposed to a news item. Damn you CBS! Your apology means nothing to me.
Tim and Eric are bringing their comedic stylings to the Cartoon Network. I posted a Tom Goes to the Mayor a while back, but here are four promos for the new show on Adult Swim starting on November 14.
Promos: One | Two | Three | Four
I'm sure the Robo-Maid works exactly as advertised. And it's from Europe!
This story sounds like a Dukes of Hazzard episode.
If you grew up in the 80's and watched G.I. Joe, you probably remember the short public service announcements after each G.I. Joe episode. They would teach you important lessons like not drinking paint or not taking candy from strangers. I guess they were trying to make G.I. Joe a little more educational and less like 25 minute commercials for action figures.
Anyway, someone created a fake G.I. Joe PSA. Funny stuff.
Watched one of my favorite episodes of The Simpsons tonight. It was the "Tomacco" episode which has the Simpson family going to the movies to watch The Poke of Zorro. At the end of the film the credits run by quickly on the screen. Thanks to the trusty internet I was able to find the actual cast of the "film." Pretty funny stuff:
Cast
Zorro ................................. John Byner
Robot Zorro ......................... Shawn Wayans
Mrs. Zorro ........................... Rita Rudner
Scarlet Pimpernel ...... Curtis "Booger" Armstrong
King Arthur ......................... Cheech Marin
Man in the Iron Mask ................ Gina Gershon
Wise Nun .............................. Posh Spice
Stupid Nun .......................... Meryl Streep
Time Traveler #1 ......... "Stone Cold" Steve Austin
Orangutan at Dance ..................... "Puddles"
Gay-Seeming Prince ................. Spalding Gray
Man Beating Mule .................... Eric Roberts
Mule Beating Man ........................... "Gus"
Hiccuping Narrator ......................... Pele
President Van Buren ................. Robert Evans
Corky ............................ Anthony Hopkins
Voice of Magic Taco ............. James Earl Jones
The Producers would like to thank:
Film Board of Canada
The Philadelphia Flyers
The Makers of Whip Balm
Mr. Robert Guccione
The Teamsters Pension Fund
AAABest Bail Bonds
Mr. and Mrs. Curtis "Booger" Armstrong
I was lucky enough to catch the end of the Fox Television phenomenon known as The Swan. It was the first time I watched any part of this spectacle, but damn it was funny. Oh, the pageantry! I'll save you the trouble and let you know that some white trash chick with emotional problems won the coveted Swan title. To be more precise, the white trash chick with emotional problems and red hair.
The hostess of the show stated before the winner was announced that the runner-up would take on the important duties of the Swan if the winner was, "Unable to uphold her responsibilities as the Swan." What responsibilities? Flea market appearances? Infomercials for teeth whitening products? Her inevitable appearance in porn?
The hostess also stated at the very end of the program that, "These women had the courage to make the sacrifices to become better people." Wow! They had the courage to leave their ten kids back at the trailer park as they went under the knife for a bunch of free plastic surgery. God bless their newly formed empty heads.
Speaking of their empty heads, the so-called expert therapist they had on the set received her "PhD." from an online diploma mill for some cash.
I can hardly wait for ABC's wife swappin' show!
Oh no, the beloved sit-com Friends is coming to an end. What will I do with my Thursday nights? Maybe I'll buy this Friends Party Pack and become the envy of all of my chums. What a lame party pack. It doesn't even include an officially licensed Friends beer bong.
