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The Detroit Tigers made quick work of the Oakland A's in a four game sweep. Thanks to Magglio's magical mullet powers in bottom of the ninth, the Tigers are in the World Series for the first time since 1984. Bring it on National League pretenders.
I must say that I really never gave a soccer (football) a chance. I am currently watching the Ghana v. USA match and I am rather enjoying it. Ghana just went ahead on a penalty kick and I really don't understand these silly penalties. My biggest complaint while watching this sport is the touchy fouls the referees seem to call.
I'd still rather watch my Major League best Detroit Tigers play a game.
The remedy for World Cup fever? Don't watch it. I guess I'm cured. I'm not really into the whole nationalistic flag waving soccer thing. Now, show a couple of mimes doing a routine to gospel music and I'll tune in for at least five minutes.
I know some of my friends are really into this World Cup thing, but I can't watch it. I'm really pulling for Togo, though.
3:30 - So Harrison Ford has to share the billing for his new movie with the Chrysler 300?
3:34 - Jake Plummer fumbles!
3:40 - So this Love Monkey show...its a rip-off of the movie High Fidelity, right?
3:41 - Touchdown Stillers*!
3:50 - Mike Hickey calls me and says he won't be stopping by. He tells me that a commentator on a Steelers pre-game show said that he hopes the Steelers use "trickeration" to beat the Broncos.
3:53 - As hard as CBS may try, Jenna Elfman is not very hot.
3:56 - Hee hee, Ford Commercial just said, "Super Duty."
4:01 - The Broncos cornerback Domonique Foxworth can't cover anyone.
4:13 - Enough with the Chunky soup commercials featuring Donovan McNabb's "mom."
4:17 - Touchdown Stillers!
4:20 - I've never watched a Pro Bowl.
4:21 - Jake Plummer interception.
4:26 - Touchdown Stillers! This may be a laugher. Roethlisberger should never do that celebration "dance" again.
4:32 - Halftime. Broncos fans are booing. Mike Shanahan is as tan as George Hamilton.
4:59 - This game may be over. Did I just jinx the beloved Stillers?
5:04 - Just prepared a bath for the pregnant wife.
5:12 - Broncos are showing signs of life.
5:15 - Touchdown Broncos!
5:27 - Big field goal by the Stillers.
5:29 - Another Survivor?
5:30 - Ugh, obiligatory face painter shot. Oh, another Jake Plummer INT.
5:33 - Did you ever notice Phil Simms doesn't say "him" he says, "heem."
5:45 - Touchdown Broncos with 7:52 left.
5:46 - AC/DC's Rock n Roll Ain't Noise Pollution is used to sell Nikes.
5:54 - Eating chili cheese fries. Mmmmm.
5:56 - Another Jake Plummer turnover. This may be it.
6:01 - I just grossed out the wife with monster burp as Roethlisberger scored on a bootleg. Game over.
6:06 - "Wow, so Pittsburgh's going to the Super Bowl?" - My wife.
6:12 - Game over... Stillers 34 Broncos 17.
* Stillers =Yinzer for Steelers.
I can't figure out which fight song is the worst, but I challenge any of you to listen to all four of them all the way through. They are awful.
Today I went on a walk today through Friendship and Bloomfield. The amount of Steelers flare was impressive. There is no way the Steelers will lose with the all the yinzers decorating their houses and cars with black and gold crap. As I walked through the narrow streets of Bloomfield all I could picture was a lonely yinzer in a black and gold wig holding on to hope that Big Ben and The Bus will shine some light into his dark and drunken life.
On another note, my beloved Lions are on the verge of signing their next victim head coach. His name is Rod Marinelli and in about three or four years you will never hear from this dude again. The Detroit Lions will destroy this guy forever.
Man, the Pittsburgh media is obsessed with Big Ben's knee. I guess KDKA needs to fill their three straight hours of news in the afternoon with something. Yeah that's right, KDKA has three hours of news from four to seven Monday through Friday. So you can only imagine what kind of coverage they dedicate to Roethlisberger's knee. They interviewed people on the street, a doctor, and the knee itself.
Other quarterback news has Joey Harrington taking over the reins of the Lions woeful offense. God help us Lions fans.
Note to ABC, CBS, FOX and ESPN: Please stop highlighting the bottom of the barrel in our society during your sports broadcasts. I am, of course, referring to the face painters in the crowd. If your producers would stop focusing in on the few dipshits in the crowd that take it upon themselves to apply paint to their faces, then this ridiculous practice would come to an end. It is an endless cycle passed down from generation to generation of face painters.
I didn't watch much of the World Series, but the amount I did watch was dominated by Astro fans in full face paint cheering for their team. Why? Because, it will get them on TV. Stop encouraging them and they'll eventually go away. Sports leagues have a policy of not showing people who make their way onto the field, let's include face painters into this policy and the world will be a much better place.
Photo courtesy: Palm Beach Post
The Detroit Lions came out on national television last night and served their fans a big steamy pile of shit. It was only a preseason game, but it is considered the most important of the four preseason games. Some would call it a dress rehearsal for the regular season. If this is the sign of things to come, it is going to be a long season.
Joey Harrington grew a beard in an attempt to look more manly and command more respect from his peers. Too bad he doesn't have the balls to go with that new facial hair. This will be his last year as a starting quarterback in the NFL. Their defense looked pathetic and slow. Could that have been due to their new black jerseys? Doubtful. Why must the TV cameras repeatedly show Matt Millen? If they continue this practice, I may break my television.
Seven or eight wins is all I predict for my Lions, and that may be a stretch. Another subpar season for a subpar franchise. Thanks for the curse of Lion fandom, Dad. I guess I'll always have fantasy football.
If Olympic Fever consists of occasionally tuning in to NBC to see what boring event is being played, then yes I have Olympic Fever. Did you happen to watch the Women's Triathlon last night? I missed it because there was a riveting test pattern on another station.
I was watching one of Pittsburgh's news broadcasts last night and saw that Plaxico Burress was in town to visit the Steelers practice facility. The footage showed him dodging the reporters as he climbed into his behemoth truck. I read in the Post-Gazette that it was an F-650. It makes the Hummer look like a damn toy. How absurd can you get?
The Pirates game only lasted two hours and eighteen minutes, but JT came up big with a clutch performance to complete the impressive 999. Photos
The legendary 999 will be attempted Saturday night at PNC Park here in Pittsburgh.
My friend JT has been training all week and has become quite confident that the 999 will be easily completed. Let's just hope that the Mariners and Pirates can assist the process with a little bit of run support.
Went to my first Pirate game of the season last night. It was a beautiful night for baseball. So why were there only 9,813 in attendance? The Pirates are not the best team in the league, but they are certainly not the worst. PNC Park is one of the best places to watch a game. Too bad the residents of Pittsburgh don't appreciate it. Check out that crowd! More photos.
Note: The 999 was not attempted.
First, some background on the 999: The 999 is the consumption of 9 hot dogs and 9 beers during 9 innings of a baseball game. Drinking 9 beers wouldn't be a problem, but the idea of putting down 9 hot dogs during a 9 inning game while drinking 9 beers makes me ill. I don't think I could do it.
The following text is from a series of emails that I received while I was away from my computer. My friend's identities have been protected for national security reasons:
JT: I've scowered the internet and nexis and found NO documentation of a successfully-completed 999. Lots of pretenders, lots of talk, and a few actual attempts, but no success. One guy in Boston only finished 7 beers and 2 dogs? What a woman!! Why even pretend you're going for the 999 if you're gonna fold so easy? That's like a beer or 2 more than a typical night at the ballpark.
BA: 2 dogs? That's sad. How many did the fridge put away in that contest?
BA: I can't wait to be one of the first people on the list.
JT: I am so fired up, I want to do it tonight.
BA: The rules clearly state that you can do it at home while watching a game. However, you do need a witness.
JT: There is some confusion on that point. Rule 9 http://www.999allstar.com/rules.asp?SID=655750301 clearly states that you need to be at a professional ball game.
BA: No, it merely states that the game has to be professional in nature. It does not mention your physical presence. You can watch a single A game on tv and successfully complete the 999, but under no circumstance could you complete the task while witnessing a little league game -- even if you were in attendance.
JT: Do you know of any little league parks where I could attempt the devilish 666?
BA: You should stick to little league hockey -- the 333 draws much less attention from disapproving parents.
JT: I was thinking about the 333. 3 beers and 3 hot dogs per period for 3 periods!!!
BA: The 3 exclamation points were a nice touch there.
JT: That would be way tougher, as a hockey game is typically 30 minutes shorter than a 9-inning baseball game.
The 999 will be attempted this summer. Stay tuned...
