Dear Matt, as an avid gambling addict i find it distressing that you feel scratch off tickets are a waste of money. Hell i don't even scratch the whole thing off i just rub off the bottom to see if i won like my negro brethren. Besides every time i lose another old person gets their wings or some such shit. Alas, i don't know which state you grew up in but i grew up in ohio (where hi's are middle name) and even in know it's a groundhog you dumb ass not a beaver, punks-a-fuckin-tawnie-kitaen ring a bell in that smoked out head of yours. shout out to jurgen cool j. peace

Man, I knew it was a groundhog, but for some reason I typed beaver. Thanks for noticing Lar-dog.

you knew it was a groundhog but typed beaver instead, hmmm, might we have beaver on the brain mr. niemi. remember pillow under the ass. rock on.

Relationships can grip with the pain
Arguments in the crib, in the streets, on the train
I’m crazy fed but then still
When she ain’t there I feel sad, I feel ill
Frowning cuz I’m down in the dumps
The other night I took her out
So she could shake her rump
But after we were there for a few
Some girls that I knew
Stepped up and asked me to come to
A party they were havin’ at their house
I looked at my girl, and yo, she started walkin’ out
I said hey love, just wait for a second
And won’t you just check it?
It’s all a part of makin’ records
Those were just some friends in the business
No need to get angry
So listen up while I kick this
And what about the things we discussed
About havin’ trust?
What’s all this attitude stuff?
Now hon, you know that I wouldn’t play you
But time after time, you let your jealousy sway you
Hey don’t you turn your back like that
Come on, this is wack
You’re heated up like a thermostat
Then she stepped off in a whirlwind
And I don’t know when
Or if I’m gonna see her again
I coulda sworn she was the right one to pick
But now...man I’m just lovesick

There were two more things about this trip that made me nervous. One was reports of swarms of killer bees in the area, including a particularly small and nasty type that specialises in flying into your ears or under your eyelids. The other was that when I looked up where we were actually going, Mogoumba, I discovered it was the place where hordes of murderous young militiamen from the Congo had pillaged, murdered and raped earlier in the year. These soldiers - some as young as eight - are often made to kill a friend or relative so that they can never return home to their families, and they are pumped with drugs. They are controlled by a myriad political and sometimes ethnically defined factions, and have wrought havoc in the region; according to a recent UN report, they have even been practising cannibalism on the pygmies in the Congo, something my informants found entirely believable. The pygmies are somehow seen as both subhuman and at the same time to have magical powers - and therefore great to eat. When the militia came to Mogoumba the local pygmies we were about to meet managed to disappear deep into the forest before they came to any harm. Or ended up as lunch.

I hear pygmies are delicious. I have also recently discovered that Vietnamese catfish are just as good for you as Arkansas catfish, and preferred 3 to 1 in taste tests.