June 2, 2004
The Summer of Dumb
The Summer blockbuster season is in full swing. Films such as Troy, The Day After Tomorrow, and Shrek 2 have already been unleashed on the public.
I'd like to highlight some of the sure fire bombs on this Summer's horizon (They may make money, but so did Speed.):
- Alien vs. Predator (The most anticipated film since Freddy vs. Jason!)
- Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid (Did we really need a sequel to this snake flick?)
- Around The World In 80 Days (Jackie Chan is a part of this forgettable ensemble cast.)
- Catwoman (Halle Berry's breasts continue to pave the way for black actresses everywhere.)
- Garfield (Garfield makes Scooby Doo look like a masterpiece.)
- Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (Did someone say Rocketeer?)
- Thunderbirds (This is what you get when you cross Spy Kids, Power Rangers, and a steaming pile of shit.)
- White Chicks (90+ minutes of lame white people jokes.)
Only two things could make the Summer movie better. One, Steven Seagal will be in Around the World in 80 Days. Or John Travolta will join a new cult and make a movie about its core beliefs, after all that plan seemed to work once.
Posted by: Dan at June 2, 2004 3:24 PMpeople r dumb so dumb movies will make $$$ just look at these retarded reality programs folks cant wait to tune in to see what dumb drama unfolds.....Matt looks like this webpage of yours is gettin some heavy traffic remember i am your brother when your rich and famous!!!!
Posted by: D Niemi at June 3, 2004 8:35 AM