June 28, 2004
Bad Movie Monday: Troy
Note: I did not see this movie because I am a straight male. The following Bad Movie entry is from my friend Nate.
I went to see the movie "Troy" the other night. It sucked. I'll expound: Apparently, someone figured they could make a movie in the mode of "Gladiator" with a different actor, hire a schlep stunt coordinator, and succeed in making millions on the poor duped populous that thought this could be a decent $8.
The result was 2 hours and 45 minutes of hell. If you took six episodes of "The Young and the Restless" and peppered in about four half-assed action sequences, you too, could have made "Troy". Give everyone names that are impossible to remember, have about six plot lines that go nowhere, and cut the budget when it comes to having a decent actor to be opposite Superman (I mean, Achilles). Oh, and don't forget to make it three hours long.
I've had better times putting on clown makeup.
Highlights: Big guy in first five minutes getting killed.
Best Line: "Pythagorieous, Get thee and Hereticalculus inside Urinallisus' tent!!" (I'm serious, that could have been in there and you would have never noticed)
Posted by Matt Niemi at June 28, 2004 1:10 PMI took the following quote directly from Washington Post's review of Troy. The "he" is Wolfgang Peterson, the director. I couldn't make this stuff up if i tried...
"He's got an eye for beauty too, though mainly of the male kind. He so loves the image of the helmeted, husky warrior boys, bulgy of bicep, lean of loin, aglow of sweat, eyes feral and fierce in the slits of their art-deco steel pots, that he hits it over and over and over. Many a gay man will consider this the ultimate date movie."
wow! i find it strange that homosexuality is so important these days ...i went to a house party for a story about a John Kerry phone conference call ...talk about some ugly ass people!!! i would venture to guess nearly 100% of the women present were lesbians as we wrapped up the interview I got a nice 2 shot of these life partners making a statement about same sex marriages it doesnt really bother me but i know it was a non-issue when my parents were my age
Posted by: D niemi at June 30, 2004 5:51 PMI actually saw this with a close friend who happens to be a gay male. However, he also happens to be a professor of classics at a prominent university in Virginia. Peterson's mangling of Homer upset him so much I don't think he even noticed the buffalo shots.
Posted by: Burns at August 31, 2004 1:30 PM